I left because i love you too much
by SqinternYoloCo
Summary: Set after liv gets back from oregon, dinner at eliots leads to an admission from olivia. not really sure where this is going to go. Strong Languagesome sexual situations. my first fanfic, go easy on me! PLEASE RR.


You are going to have to bear w/me. This is my first fanfic EVER, so please cut me some slack. Reviews would be great, please nothing to harsh, and. unfortunately, I don't own L&O: SVU, but if they are selling, I'd be more than happy to buy. W/out any further ado, the story: This is set after Liv gets back to New York, after her fiasco w/the feds. E/O, from Liv's POV, as diary entries.

Hey Crazy World, Well first day back in NYC, and I don't know where to begin. I met up w/ Casey to testify in a case I was needed in, but my stomach was tying itself in knots. Testifying in a rape case was a normal occurrence for me, what I was afraid of, was dealing w/Eliot once again. What was I supposed to tell him? I left because I loved him too much? Honestly. And hopefully he was still my partner, but I thought he had a new one, Danni maybe? W/e, as I started to leave court, Eliot grabs my arm and pulls me out of the door before the post trial wave manages to hit the door way. He pulls me into the stair well and tells me, (doesn't ask mind you, just tells me) "Live, we are going to talk, I'm taking you to my place, I'll make dinner."

The ride to his apartment was awkward; we made small talk, talked about the weather in Oregon, old cases, but nothing important. When we got to El's place, he started dinner, (my favorite, homemade mac and cheese, I was impressed he remembered.) He put the dish in the oven, set the timer, and we sat on the sofa. I was trying to find the right words to tell him why I had just up and left, when he turned to me and said, " I know you asked to leave Liv, what I don't get is WHY." Great, that meant he knew it was my idea, but still what do I tell him? Oh, yeah, by the way I love you, so I left? Not to logical. So I decided to almost tell him. "El, all I can tell you is that I cared too much". He just stared at me, stunned. "Liv, you and I both know that is total bull shit. We were doing great, then BOOM, no more Olivia." "Eliot, I can't . . . won't tell you anything else. I just . . .. I just care about you too much. Eliot I can't be your partner, I know you'll never get it, but I can't bear to stick with you not knowing, and not feeling the same way." As soon as that last sentence snuck out, I gasped, "SHIT" and get up. I couldn't take it, I had to go home. I grabbed my coat and purse, and went for the door. Eliot got to the door first, blocking my way out, he asks, " Not knowing WHAT, Liv?" "El, don't" I say trying to get around him. He doesn't move, but takes my stuff, and puts it down. Turning back to me he takes my hands. "Liv, come on, tell me." I know I'm not getting out of his apartment until I tell him, so I slur "THATILOVEYOUELIOT." He just looks at me, "What?" he asks. "I LOVE YOU!!!" I yell at him angrily, as if it is his fault I fell in love, like he made me do it against my will.

I sulk over to the sofa, sit down, and pull my knees to my chest, putting my head in my lap. The look in his eyes, that . . . utter shock, I knew he could never love me, that he'd never feel the same way. I hear him walk over, and then feel a hand on my face lifting it up. "Liv, honey, I love you too." He tells me. Great I didn't want his fucking pity. But as if he read my mind, he told me, "I'm not just saying this. When you left, I was devastated, then, cap paired me w/Danni, and I knew I couldn't work w/ her, she wasn't you. I went to see Kathy, and the kids, hoping that maybe I was just imagining everything, I knew or thought I knew you would never feel the same, and I could never be happy if you didn't love me back. Olivia, I can't move forward, I don't want to move forward with out you. Your it Liv, I love you too." By the end of his little heart wrenching speech I'm crying, well, balling actually, but he wipes away my tears, leans in, and kisses me softly. The kiss was simple, but full of promises.

All I'm worried about is that I will pull a usual me, and run when things start to get serious. I mean hell; we skipped the entire dating thing, and jumped right in, confessing our feelings for each other. And work, how will this effect our working together? The Cap isn't going to like this, IAB will eat us alive, they have been looking for a reason to fire El, and I may have just handed them one.

Ok, well that's all for tonight, I'm going to bed. I need my beauty sleep.

Love, Liv


End file.
